Death Of A High Street

Many High Streets have seen a large number of shop closures over the last couple of years, with some towns suffering more severely than others.

In some cases, closures have been the result of the demise of whole shopping chains, whilst others have been due to localised closures, where retailers have had to reduce store numbers to avoid total collapse.

I’ve visited some High Streets and shopping centres that appear to be holding up quite well, but others are ghosts of their former selves. One in particular that falls into the latter category is Chatham in Kent.

I was born and bred in Medway, having lived in various locations around the towns, often using Chatham as a place to shop. Although I have now moved out of the Medway area, I have made a couple of recent trips back to Chatham High Street when visiting relatives and can’t believe the change in the place.

As a child I loved to go and spend my birthday and pocket money in the town. There were some great toy shops (Youngsters and Gees) in the town and lots of big High Street stores such as Marks and Spencer, Woolworths, British Home Stores (as it then was), Co-op and Featherstones.

In the 1970s the Pentagon shopping centre opened (I remember going there to see the Wombles turn up for the official opening) and some of the stores from the High Street, such as WHSmith and Boots moved inside, as well as new shops arriving such as C&A and Etam.

Today both the High Street and Pentagon shopping centre are shadows of their former selves. Marks and Spencer and the now rebranded BHS moved out years ago and of course, Woolworths disappeared from all of our High Streets, but what is more concerning is the number of other retailers that have pulled out of the town, seemingly making it their first choice of towns from which to withdraw.

In light of the news that Tesco needed to close a large number of stores, Chatham was put on the hit list. Now WHSmith have also announced they’re shutting up shop and rumours are flying about who else is set to go.

Over the years national chains such as Next, Peacocks, Mothercare, HMV and The Early Learning Centre have, one by one, left the town, although all still exist in nearby Maidstone.

The only new shops that seem to be opening in the town are pound stores. Poundland, 99p Stores, Poundworld, The Mighty Pound, Around-a-pound – talk about in for a pound! Now whilst these shops may have their place, there are a hell of a lot of things you can’t buy in them and not all of us want to shop in them. It seems the more that the council allow these shops (along with betting shops, pawnbrokers and dubious ‘market-stall’ type shops) move into the town, the more the long-standing stores decide to leave. I always thought councils looked carefully at the balance of shops in a town, limiting numbers of any one type of shop, to maintain diversity.

shops are packing
up and going!

There was a time when people would have travelled to the town from all around Kent because of the great selection of shops on offer. Now the choices are miserable, the town looks dowdy and people not only don’t visit there to shop anymore, but even locals choose to travel elsewhere.

The decline of the town’s High Street is very sad and is largely due, I feel, to bad town management. It will take something miraculous to revive this dismal High Street.

How are High Streets near you holding up?

What A Sauce!

I’ve often stopped to grab a bite to eat whilst out on a shopping trip, pausing at a supermarket café or High Street restaurant.

Of course, choice and standard of food can vary greatly between cafés, but what can also vary vastly is the way in which the condiments are made available.

It’s often nice to add a bit of vinegar, ketchup or mayonnaise to a meal, preferably from a decent bottle, but this is not always the case. Sauces can be served in anything from tiny, hard-to-open sachets, which can be free or cost anything up to 12p, to large bottles that are left permanently on the tables, with a number of other options in between.

Plastic sachets are the most annoying ways to have your ketchup served. You can spend ages trying to open them up, spraying unsuspecting fellow-eaters in the process, only to end up with the most minute splodge of sauce on your plate. It can take several of these to produce enough of your chosen sauce to complement your meal – not really an option if you’re paying for the privilege, not to mention all that plastic waste!

It may be that some cafés fear that bottles of sauces will ‘disappear’ or are less cost effective, but considering what you pay for some meals, a bottle of sauce is a small ask. Some eating-places bring the bottles to the table with your meal and remove them when you’ve finished – there’s certainly nothing wrong with that.

Sainsbury’s restaurants have tried various systems over the years. Originally I remember being able to help myself to sauce from a bottle, then to sachets that were readily available at no extra cost. Then they started to supply a pot of sachets at the till point, which in my local branch at least, has now been reduced to an odd sachet or two being produced reluctantly when you pay.

One of the best systems, for customers and café owners alike, is that adopted by McDonalds – sauce on tap. This way you help yourself to your chosen condiment, in suitable amounts, in a type of card-based pot, which is much more user and environmentally friendly than plastic sachets.

However the sauces are served, I don’t believe that customers should pay extra for the privilege, but what do you think?

Where Have All The Shoe Shops Gone?

There’s no doubt about it, shopping for shoes is not the straightforward experience that it once was. Locating a shoe shop can be an ordeal in itself.

Way back in that hinterland know as the 1970s, my then local High Street was positively teeming with shoe shops, as was the shopping centre that opened there during that decade. We were spoilt for choice – Manfield, Saxone, Dolcis, Curtess, TrueForm, John Farmer – the list went on!

Are shoe shops becoming as extinct as the dinosaurs/

However, a visit back to that same High Street today is quite a different story. All that exists is a branch of Shoe Zone and a small Chockers store. Even venturing to an out-of-town retail park only yields a rather sad looking Brantano, which I view as a kind of shoe jumble sale – lots of random styles in random sizes, but not normally the one you’re actually seeking.

Of course, I realise that many High Street stores now include a shoe department – New Look, BHS, Matalan and Select to name a few – but many of these only offer women’s shoes. Where are you supposed to go to buy footwear for children and men?

This week I faced the unenviable task of buying new school shoes for my son. Needless to say, the choice was very limited. He may not be particularly fashion conscious when choosing footwear, but it would be nice to have more options available to him. My husband is also frustrated about the lack of choice – it’s not always an option to buy from premium shoe retailers and certainly shouldn’t be viewed as a necessity.

There are, of course, a number of online shoe retailers, but footwear is the last item that I would consider buying on the Internet. Finding the right fit can be a nightmare! How many pairs would I end up ordering and returning before I found the ideal fit? I want to go into a shop (or several if I’m honest), view a large selection of shoes and try on as many pairs as I like before making my choice.

I dream of walking down a High Street that hosts a range of reasonably-priced, well-stocked shoe shops and trying on endless pairs until I find my ideal style of fit. But tell me, where have all the shoe shops gone?

A New Chapter

It's been a busy few weeks, packing up the last remnants of our 'old life' and moving on to pastures new - quite literally as I am writing this in my new setting, surrounded by green fields!

Shopping, as so much else, has taken a bit of a back seat at the moment, finding homes for all that we already have, has left little time (or need) to accumulate more. We are still in the early stages of a multi-layered move, currently living in a building not really designed for family life, but which has lots of, what an estate agent would call, potential. The fact that we are living a semi-camping existence is quite forgiven, when we look at the views of rolling hills, picturesque countryside and a tranquil river.

We are now starting to embrace our new rural, village life. It was certainly a different experience to hear the sound of bell ringing practice at the village church as opposed to the traffic noise and sirens of busy town life. Indeed there is no traffic passing our front door (or our home at all) except for boats, which are restricted as to when they pass by the tides.

The first view that I saw when I got up yesterday morning was the sight of cormorants diving for food - makes a change from just seeing the odd sparrow in the garden.

Of course, I will still be venturing to supermarkets for the weekly shop (supplemented by visits to our local village store) and to High Street shops for the odd browse and purchase, but I feel my life is about to become far more village-based - and not just because there is only an hourly (sometimes two-hourly) bus service.

This is indeed a whole new chapter of my life!

The Right Cut

I’m someone who never seems to get round to getting my hair cut until I wake up one morning, look in the mirror and think, “Help!”

I invariably just pop into a hairdressing salon when out on a shopping trip, in the hope of having a rescue cut there and then. I’ve previously visited various branches of Supercuts, the chain that has a no appointment policy, so attempted to get a cut there again last week, when it got to the stage that I could not longer see past my fringe.

Calling in at a branch of Supercuts in a local shopping centre, I was pleased to see that no one was queuing there. I presumed I would only have a minimal wait and attempted to book in. However, I was told that a man was in front of me, although he’d currently wandered out, which I thought strange as I have always been told that once you have booked in you have to wait in the salon, otherwise if anyone comes in whilst you are away, they get priority. Apparently this rule does not seem to apply to everyone. In addition to this I was told that I would have a 45-minute wait. Now, I’m not being rude, but when said man walked back in during this conversation he didn’t have that much hair to work with so where did the 45 minutes come from? Especially as there were two stylists in attendance at this time.

 

This information, together with the generally unhelpful attitude with which it was delivered, made me decide not to stay. The question was where else could I go at short notice?

Not far from the shopping centre was a small hair and beauty salon that I decided to pop into on the off chance. I received a warm welcome and was pleased to find that a stylist was available straight away. I was then offered tea or coffee – no chance of that at Supercuts with its conveyor-belt mentality!

The stylist, Alec, then proceeded to wash and condition my hair, with a gently head massage, then cut and styled it very professionally, being friendly and helpful throughout. He was careful to angle the hairdryer away from my face, something that I appreciated as I hate being blasted full on the face (it makes me catch my breath) as some hairdressers do.

The whole experience only cost me £24 and the salon operates a loyalty scheme. So if you live in or are a visitor to the Medway area of Kent, do call in to Phixx in Chatham for a great hair cut in a friendly atmosphere.

Of course, for those of you living elsewhere, I recommend that you abandon some of the more impersonal hairdressing chains in the High Street and give a smaller independent salon a try.

Follow me on Twitter @shoppersjoy

The New Card On The Block

I’m a big fan of loyalty cards and have quite an impressive set, as previously blogged in my loyalty card ratings but now I’ve discovered a new card on the High Street.

As an avid reader I often take a trip to The Works to buy multiple books at reasonable prices, so imagine my joy when I was offered a loyalty card for that very shop! I didn’t hesitate to accept the offer, taking the proffered card home and registering it online.

Within a few days I was sent an email including a selection of vouchers to use instore but I have yet to see how the long-term benefits actually stack up.

The card is called the ‘Together Rewards Card’ and you actually earn 5 points for every £1 spent, with vouchers issued four times a year, providing you have a balance of at least 50 points – you actually receive your first 50 points when you register! Every point then equals 1p, so it depends how frequent a visitor to The Works you actually are, as to whether you gain much during the course of a year.

Still, as a rival company would say, “Every little helps”, which is why I collect all the loyalty cards that I can!

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Mad About Shoes

I’m mad about shoes. “So what?” I hear you ask, “Don’t so many of us love them?”

But no. I don’t mean I’m mad about shoes in the sense that I love them, but more in the sense that I’m getting a bit annoyed about them.

Why? Because it can be frustratingly difficult to buy just the right pair that you want.

You know how it is. Off you go merrily shopping for a new pair of shoes and half a dozen shops later (if you can find that many shoe shops in the High Street in the first place) you find yourself wailing about how you can’t find a single decent pair.

Kitten heels or kitchen heels?

Many’s the time I've ‘homed’ in on a gorgeous looking pair of shoes on a rack, only to be sadly disappointed by the type of heel revealed when I remove them for closer inspection.

Sometimes I want a small heel, but the style I like is either completely flat or about six inches high! Similarly a style that I think would look great with an elegant slightly higher heel can only be found with a tiny heel or clumpy wedge.

I have come to the conclusion that certain styles of shoes should be sold in a variety of heel heights offering something for everyone, just like jeans and trousers are sold in different leg lengths. Many shoes would lend themselves to a number of heel designs and heights, whilst still looking stylish in each.

Ok, some pairings wouldn’t quite work (think high-heeled trainers) but many would open up a whole new realm of possibilities. Come on shoe retailers, take up the gauntlet and give us the shoe choices we really want!

Burger Bars

As I sat in a branch of Wimpy recently, enjoying lunch with my son, my mind wandered to thoughts of the way so-called ‘Burger Bars’ have evolved over the years.

As a child, I was never actually bought a burger in a bun – it just wasn’t the big deal that it is now. When I was taken to the Wimpy (in the 70s, though first UK Wimpy opened in 1954), it was to have egg and chips, although people were eating burgers – served on china plates, with knives and forks supplied.

Fast forward to the early 80s, and my first trip to McDonalds (first UK branches opened in 1974). When the ‘golden arches’ were new to our high streets, the emphasis was very much on fast food, the speed of service being of the essence. McDonalds operated a ‘maximum waiting time’ policy – if you waited longer than a specified time for your order then you were given your meal, or at least part of it, free! I was fortunate to gain a few free meals under this policy, which I much appreciated as a struggling student nurse.

This policy seemed to fall by the wayside as more branches of McDonalds opened, fast service was no longer guaranteed, and now you’re lucky if you get a mumbled apology if you’re kept waiting too long at some branches.

McDonalds evolved, adding salads and fruit to their menu, opening ‘drive thrus” (how it pains me to write ‘thru’ and not ‘through’), and seemingly dominating the market.

Meanwhile, other burger bars such as Wimpy and Starburger, have stuck to the plate, knife and fork formula, with waitress service for those eating in, whilst adapting their menus to meet present demands.

In more recent years, I’ve made a fair few visits to McDonalds when giving my son a treat, but as I’m really not a huge fan of burgers, I normally just plump for a ‘Filet-O-Fish’, which I can never quite manage to ask for without tripping over my tongue.

How refreshing then to visit Wimpy after all these years and discover some different menu options. I absolutely love their Hawaiian Toastie (cheese, ham and pineapple) served with a side salad of tomato, cucumber, red onion and crisp lettuce (as opposed to limp, curly leaf) for just £2.70. In fact, my son has now also been tempted by said toastie, abandoning the dreaded burger!

We also lovely the Wimpy milkshakes, creamy without being too thick with a bit of froth on top, served in a real glass. They transport me back to my childhood, when my mum used to take me to the milk bar in our local High Street – all blue tiles, chrome and 60s glamour!

Yes, there certainly have been a few changes to burger bars – but in Wimpy’s case it’s for the better!

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From Treat To High Street

It used to be that you could only buy candy floss at the seaside or at a fair, which made it a big treat and an essential part of a family outing. Watching the sticky, pink confection being wound around the sticks, in anticipation of the sweet, melt-in-the-mouth experience (and the wind blowing it into your hair) was a highlight of many an outing for me. But now it seems this is no longer a treat reserved for trips to the fairground or days out by the sea, as my local shopping centre now has a permanent stall selling candy floss and popcorn.

Fresh popcorn (as opposed to the toffee stuff in bags) also used to be somewhat of a treat that formed part of a trip to the ‘pictures’ as we once called it. Cinemas still sell boxes of popcorn in a variety of sizes, but now this can be bought at the shopping centre stalls too.

Some of you may love the fact that these sweet treats are so readily available, but I feel that somehow they have been ‘demoted’ to something as mundane as a loaf of bread.

By making former treats seem like everyday items, what do we leave for treats in their place? Maybe we all expect much more from a treat today, in a world that has become ever more materialistic, or perhaps that’s just me being cynical.

Of course, we can opt to ignore these stalls (which I do) and still reserve these treats for seaside or fairground days. My son is a big fan of candy floss, but he only ever has it on traditional seaside trips. For him it remains a treat.

What else do you think has lost its ‘treat’ status?

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Summer Holidays

Well, here they are, the summer holidays have officially arrived, with many schools having now broken up for the next six weeks or so (my son finished last Friday).

You may now be looking for ways to pass the time and entertain the kids, unless you've signed up for one of the many holiday play schemes around the country. Perhaps you’re going away for at least some of the time, be it near or far, or looking to spend some recreation time nearer to home, in between juggling work and all the other commitments that you may have.

I’m fortunate in that I write to earn a crust and can pick up pen (yes, I do still draft some work in longhand) and head for my happy place (for those of you who aren’t familiar with this, my static caravan on the east coast).

In addition to writing my blog (purely for pleasure), I write for a few businesses, composing copy for their websites, brochures, company blogs and press releases, and inventing slogans. Fortunately, there is no conflict of interest with my own blog writing as the businesses that I write for include an engineering firm, construction company and some double-glazing suppliers, as opposed to High Street retailers or visitor attractions.

I’m also putting the finishing touches to a couple of short stories, and have drafted the synopsis of a book, which I may or may not actually get round to writing.

So this summer I will be combining time at my caravan with trips back home, so that I can keep an eye on my elderly mother (she suffers from dementia) and see my daughters and baby grandson. I may even get to throw in a brief camping trip if I’m lucky.

With a busy schedule ahead, I’ve decided to reduce my blog posts to around three a week (you may already have noticed that they’ve fallen from five to four), to allow time for other projects and to enjoy summer pursuits with my family, especially my son during his school holidays.

Whatever you’re doing this summer, I hope you have a fantastic time, and do continue to look in on my blog when you get the chance.

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Coffee Culture

Coffee has become a big part of our daily lives. Everywhere you go, you see individuals suited and booted for work armed with a ‘coffee to go’, or coffee shops filled with friends meeting over a cup of some caffeine-laden concoction.

Coffee shops have become big business, with our High Streets filled with Costa, Starbucks, BBs etc and many shops and stores also having their own coffee lounges.

Since coffee was introduced to the UK (there are mentions of it in 16^th century writing, with coffee houses taking off in 17^th Century) we have enjoyed it to some degree. However, ‘coffee mornings’ used to mean meeting up in someone’s house over a cup of instant and a plate of bourbons, as opposed to congregating at the local coffee shop, chatting over double shot skinny lattes.

The English have long been considered to be more of a nation of tea drinkers. Advice issued to American serviceman when they came over in the 1940s included the comment, ‘The British don't know how to make a good cup of coffee. You don't know how to make a good cup of tea’. But whether we prefer tea or coffee, it’s easy to buy a huge variety of either when out and about.

When shopping in the High Street I sometimes grab a McDonald’s coffee, which is low cost, and for every six I buy, I can get one free by collecting the stickers on the cups. Sainsburys’ and Morrisons’ cafés offer cappuccino or latte for £1.55, which though not quite barista quality, is a fair cup. Many other retailers sell a variety of coffees for over the £2 mark and I had previously presumed, wrongly as it seems, that places such as Costa would put a higher price tag on their drinks as say Greggs or Tesco (Fontanella coffee is £2.15 for a small cup at Tesco Family Cafés)

Recently my daughter treated me to a coffee at Costa, where a small (reasonable size I thought) cappuccino cost just £2.15 – the same as Tesco. I also indulged in a lemon and poppy seed muffin, which was rather delicious, containing a surprise (sorry, I’ve now spoilt that for you} lemon curd style filling.

Whatever your favoured choice of coffee and wherever your chosen venue for buying it, we certainly have become much more a nation of coffee lovers.

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Dickens Festival, Rochester

Twice a year, Rochester in Kent is transformed into a little snapshot of Dickensian England, with characters straight from the pages of his much-acclaimed stories parading the High Street.

For those of you who fancy soaking up this traditional atmosphere, the summer version of this Dickensian extravaganza is about to take place.

From 31^st May to 2^nd June, you can experience the sights and sounds and meet the characters portrayed in Dickens’ novels. Rochester’s High Street, Castle Gardens and surrounding areas become filled with stalls and entertainers, with a full programme of events available.

As a Kentish lass, I have often visited the Dickens Festival, and even dressed up and participated in it in my youth. Aged 17 I was working at a local Day Centre for the Elderly, which decided to run a stall in the High Street, with us all dressed for the part. I had a great day, sporting a costume made for me by my eldest sister, and was amazed at how many times visitors stopped me in the street to take my photograph.

The photo here was taken by a lovely American tourist, who then gave me a copy (it was the days of the Polaroid camera, instant photos and all that) and it brings back happy memories of a thoroughly enjoyable day.

So why not visit Rochester’s Dickens Festival this weekend?

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This May Why Not…?

Enjoy some May Day fun. In 1978 the May Day Bank Holiday was instigated in the UK, allowing us to enjoy a 3-day weekend in the spring sunshine (fingers crossed). There will be many events across the country so be sure to check out what’s going on in your area. We often attend the Sweeps Festival at nearby Rochester (Kent), where you can be entertained by a host of Morris dancers and mummer groups. Stalls and displays line the High Street and fill the Castle Gardens, including a fun fair, arts and crafts stalls and refreshment stands. This year the festival is from 4^th to 6^th May, so go along if you have the chance – it’s really good fun!

See Britain in Bloom. I love this time of year with blossom on the trees and so many lovely flowers coming into bloom and I enjoy visiting some of the wonderful gardens that are open to the public. Some historical buildings have beautiful gardens and grounds that you can visit independently of the actual buildings, including Penshurst Place and Hever Castle, both in Kent. Penshurst has 11 acres of walled gardens as well as a great play area for the kids to let off steam, whilst Hever has well-tended lawns and plants, a large lake and a fun water maze which can be enjoyed by all. Both these attractions offer ‘gardens only’ admission rates, but for a bit extra you can explore the buildings too.

Ditch the bread. If you regularly have a packed lunch or like to make up a family picnic, you may, like me get very fed up of bread. So why not fill some mini pitta breads or flour tortillas with your choice of fillings instead. They make a welcome change and are a more ‘summery’ option too.

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Pubs – The New Coffee Shops?

Pubs have undergone many changes over the years. A large number have closed, due to falling trade and the effects of the recession, whilst others have had to ‘re-invent’ themselves to survive.

Several pubs in my area have been taken over by pub/restaurant chains, which has actually changed (for the better) the amount and frequency that we use them.

Many of these chains are family-friendly, with children not only well catered for on the menu, but also often provided with indoor/outdoor play areas and mini TV screens showing children’s programmes.

But what I’ve particularly noticed is that many of us now think of popping into these pubs just for a coffee. My favourite chain for a coffee break is Wetherspoons, as it offers reasonably priced tea, coffee (including cappuccino and latte) and hot chocolate (topped with whipped cream). The surroundings tend to be comfortable and friendly, with many customers enjoying just a hot drink or a snack, as opposed to an alcoholic drink or a full meal.

With coffee prices much lower than in coffee shops such as Costa and Starbucks, high street branches of Wetherspoons make a handy coffee stop on a shopping trip, or somewhere to pause for refreshment on a family outing – my son loves to have one of their ice cream sundaes while we enjoy a coffee.

To my mind, pubs really are becoming the new coffee shops.

What do you think? comments@shoppersjoy.co.uk

Supporting Markets

There used to be a large, vibrant market in Rochester, Kent, which is quite local to me. For years it was a great place to go, with a large selection of stalls including those selling clothes, housewares, greengrocery, shoes, fabrics, bakery items, tools, meat, haberdashery, books, sweets, toys, pet supplies, electricals and one of my favourites – out-of-date magazines for bargain prices!

I used to love the atmosphere – with some of the characters proving as colourful as the stalls they ran. Sadly, as time went by, the number of stalls dwindled. The market was reduced to half its original size – then smaller still – until this incredible ‘shrinking’ market ceased to exist. I missed it terribly – and still do!

A couple of other towns in the area still have markets, but to a much smaller scale – one lines its high street twice a week (Gillingham), the other sets up in a small car park (Strood). Both of them still have some very worthwhile stalls – just in smaller numbers, without quite the same atmosphere.

The wool, fabric and haberdashery stalls are very welcome as there has definitely been a reduction in the number of these shops in my area. I also love the stalls that sell ex-store fashion lines at great value prices. But I expect that many market traders have been pushed out of business by some of the bargain stores that now exist in high streets, that just weren’t around in the heyday of Rochester Market and its like.

I believe that we should make use of the markets that still exist and support our independent market traders to ensure their survival. Markets can be such fun, original places to shop, with a charm all of their own.

In addition to general markets, you can also find Farmers' Markets (great for local produce), Craft Markets (handy for original gifts) and Antique Markets (you never know what you may find). Whatever type of market you visit, you’ll discover a very different shopping experience to that of the high street.

I’m glad to see there are areas where markets have survived much better – I’ve visited some on recent trips to Great Yarmouth and Norwich for example – but I’d hate to think that these would suddenly disappear too.

So support markets everywhere and help preserve this very traditional, yet fun way of shopping.

Can you recommend a market near you? comments@shoppersjoy.co.uk

March’s Random Thoughts

It’s amazing how many of us seem to talk to machines. Cashpoints, self-service tills, and car park pay stations – how often do you talk to (or hear others talk to) any of these? I’m very polite, I usually say ‘thank you’ to them.

Random thoughts - random picture

Have you noticed how many garments that you buy need buttons stitched back on or seams repaired after only a couple of wears? And I’m not just talking about budget brands either.

Why do some people find it necessary to use a jumbo-sized umbrella (large enough to house a small family) whilst walking along a crowded high street, virtually slaying fellow pedestrians in their wake? Smaller umbrellas are available, greatly reducing the risk to the general public.

“One hundred Humphries soft as silk,

Out on the search for your Unigate milk,

Get extra pintas or you’ll be without.

Watch out watch out, watch out, watch out,

There’s a Humphrey about!”

Sorry I have these momentary lapses of nostalgia, this one courtesy of Unigate milk. I feel better for that now.

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How Rude!

I’m not against Market Researchers in High Streets (consumers should have their say) or even the odd canvasser to an extent (business needs to be promoted), but what I really object to is when said researcher/canvasser can see I’m heavily involved in conversation with a companion, yet push their way in verbally or physically to ask an inane question.

There I am, strolling down the street with a friend, in full flow, when suddenly a figure appears blocking our way, even placing themselves between us, or leaning in almost nose-to-nose, spitting, “Have you considered changing your electricity supplier?”

My response is normally to stop in my tracks (what else can I do when faced with a human barricade?) and say firmly, “It’s very rude to interrupt.” Some of the more reasonable individuals mumble an apology and leave me to go on my way, but there are those who make really inappropriate comments either to my face, or my departing rear (an easy target the size it’s getting).

So please, canvassers and market researchers everywhere, only approach your prey, sorry your candidate for attention if:

a)    They are walking alone or at least clearly not speaking to their companion.

b)    Walking at a somewhat leisurely pace (rushing tends to mean they need to be somewhere and can’t stop).

c)    Are actually trying to catch your eye, in the hope of being approached (me when sampling chocolate is involved).

Note About Dealing with Doorstep Callers: When asked if you are the homeowner, say you are a tenant even if that’s not true. They retreat like a shot, as there’s obviously no business to be had.

Alternatively, display this verse:

All canvassers and salespersons,

Kindly DO NOT ring this bell,

I do not require your advice

Or what you have to sell.

You would be wasting my time

And certainly wasting yours,

So please kindly go away

And knock on other people’s doors!

Customer Code

It’s very easy to complain about grumpy shop assistants and poor customer services, but we have certain responsibilities as a customer too. Yes, I really did say that!

A short time ago I was queuing behind a customer paying at a branch of Superdrug, who let rip at the cashier for asking whether she would like “any stamps or mobile phone top-up today?”

Now I know these parrot-fashion phrases can be very irritating (see below), but the poor assistants are drilled to say them, or risk reprimand or public flogging or something.

Anyway, there I was trying to placate the tearful, (painfully, in my eyes) young, assistant in the wake of the cruel customer’s outburst, assuring the girl that she was doing a good job and advising not to let the odd dodgy customer get to her.

Back to shops’ stock phrases, top of my list of most annoying are:

- “Did you find everything you wanted today?” used by a High Street fashion retailer (name begins with New and ends with Look). Very tempting to answer “No, do you have some jeans which make me look a size 8, a dress that makes me look 20 years younger (gracefully, not mutton-like) and the answer to the meaning of life”. Of course I usually just say, “Yes, thanks”.

- “Sorry to keep you waiting!” when I have walked straight up to the till, without as much as a glimpse of the departing rear of the previous customer. I usually reply, “I haven’t waited”, which usually elicits a sheepish look and a nervous giggle from the cashier.

Come on retailers; please coach your staff to only use these types of phrases when they are a) appropriate to the situation and b) likely to get a sensible answer.

A final thought on being a good customer. When faced with a really gloomy, grumpy assistant, smile defiantly throughout the transaction. There is great satisfaction to be had by cracking a smile on the grumpiest of faces – try it some time!

Some Random Thoughts

Where have all the shoe shops gone? There used to be loads in my local High Street, now we have about two. Since when did the demand for shoes get lower?

Please can Savoury Vinegar crisps be revived? I loved them when I was younger, much tastier than regular salt and vinegar. They were made by Smiths and you could also get Savoury Vinegar Chipsticks. So please bring them back, even though my waistline will suffer.

Why does toothpaste (except for that aimed at children) invariably come in mint flavour only? My soon-to-be teenage son can’t stand the taste and positively gags on it. The herbal varieties aren’t much better. So please can someone come up with a new flavour of toothpaste for adults?